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Through the never...you struggle within [16 Apr 2005|11:18am]
[ mood | gar gar gar ]

In the dark, see past our eyes
Pursuit of truth no matter where it lies

Home is not a home, it becomes a hell
Turning it into your prison cell
Advantages are taken, not handed out
While you struggle inside your hell
Reaching out
Grabbing for something you've got to feel
Closing in
The pressure upon you is so unreal


Grrrr...now we aren moving till mid may because the people lied to us actually they said that the apt we are moving into the people gave them a 30 day notice so they are moving by may 1st, then the maintenance people have to clean up like paint the walls and what knot...so yea...at least i have sme time to be lazy for a couple more weeks...***sigh**


Life just fucking sucks asss....i thought things were getting better between me and my mom, but i guessed wrong...I hate it cuz she treats me like im such a fucking idiot, i cant stand that when she does that to me. I just want to smack her everytime she does. and then so she wont get even more mad at me i try to get out of her way and give her some room to breathe she bitches about how im not helping her...theres no fucking pleasing her i swear. i cant wait til im old enuff to move out on my own, ugh...home is supposed to be a place u can come to when everything in the world is going wrong. for me its not liek that at all... I dread going home everyday because i know somehow my mother and i will get into some stupid ass fight and OMFG i cannot stand it anymore, shes DRIVING ME CRAZY! i keep telling myself things well get better but they dont, not for anything, i think..??...i dunno im confused and im pissed off, but then im neutral and in a w/e mood..honestly i wish there was no vacation bc when im home i know she is gonna find some way to yell at me even though shes at work...oh well....its not like it hasnt happened before

7Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

yea... [09 Apr 2005|09:56am]
[ mood | SoOoOo...yea? ]

                                                 ~Days are short~

                *Nights are long*

                                 *Where are you?*




I am moving into a new apartment before may 1st....woohoo...

Actually theres not really a difference but one more bedroom because the apt. is right down the road ^_~


                       "One man's fun is another's hell

                                 Remember, misery loves company"



Maniac killer

You are a maniac

It doesn't matter who they are and what they
have or haven't done. You still want to kill
them. And for a simple reason only; it's fun.
Seeing people in pain is like ecstasy. Maybe
you have some sort of mental problems or you
are this way because of previous deep scars,
only you know. But now you are sadistic and
maybe you only like to see a special group of
people be in pain (e.g. preps). However you are
not the most social person in the bunch and
people think you are weird. That bothers you
somewhat but atleast you can entertain yourself
with daydreaming about killing them. After all,
they have no idea what's coming.

Main weapon: Explosives and torture
Quote: "Insanity: a perfect
rational adjustment to an insane world" -
R.D. Lang
Facial expression: Wicked smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla Love
Your wise quote is: "Love is life. And if you
miss love, you miss life" by Leo
Buscaglia. Yes, love is indeed what you desire
in your life. If you have it or not is another
matter, but it is in your eyes the most
important feeling.

What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla
2Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

LaLa [03 Apr 2005|01:51pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla HASH(0x8d317c8)
You are Heroin (aka: smack, dope, brown sugar...).
You are the most dangerous drug between all
other kinds. You are bold, deep, dark,
mysterious, have your own world. You are
classified as class (A) illegal drugs.

What kind of Drugs are you? and how that reflect your personality?
brought to you by Quizilla HASH(0x8d2f348)
You are the warrior anime girl.You are the type
that can start a fight and win.You are very
strong and can beat anyone up (but just don't
^_~) and some people can be afraid of you but
alot of people admire your strength and want to
be just like you well the people that want to
fight.You can defend yourself very easily and
can probably handle some kind of weapon.You
have a short temper(like me)and get angry
easily but you can be really nice at times
^_^and once a fighter always a fighter.

If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
brought to you by Quizilla Cocktail

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Bored as always, but in a really good mood....


                                            ~Havent Had a Day Like This in a While~

2Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

...waiting... [02 Apr 2005|11:32am]
[ mood | awake ]

Bored...waiting for these lazy bums--katie and ariel--to wake up...been here for 2 hours aloooooone...*sniffles*....and the thing is i cant go to sleep bc i had 2 cups of coffee...*yummmmm*....

4Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

*sigh* [20 Mar 2005|02:31pm]
[ mood | better days are ahead ]



Life is just one big question, quest, discovery, conquest, mystery.... Its full of love and hatred and passion, happiness and pain, laughter and tears. It has its ups and downs, then theres days where you dont even know what your purpose is anymore, like you thought you knew, but then you suddenly seem to fail at everything.....


But unlike some people, i found whatv my purpose was, its not anything big...nothing of a hollywood movie star, or someone to find world peace, but to make other people happy...i find that people are fond of me, they like to talk, and i like to listen and when i do, i feel appreciated and that makes me happy...i find that i feel fulfilled and i was actually needed for something...people look for me to talk to...and i love it bc i love the them...i do it because the last thing i want to see is anyone getting hurt, especially if i care about them...id rather be in pain then see my loved ones shed one tear...


Its nice to feel passion...i loved being love and showing love back...i need it, i crave it....

3Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

finals [14 Mar 2005|07:33pm]
[ mood | oh plz, oh plz, let me passss! ]

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, finals are almost up.......wooohoo*sarcastic*, but yea, the worse one of em all is biology which we have tomorrow, i know im gonna do alright, but i really wanna do good, you know show him that i have been actually learning somehting and not jus been slacking off like i kno he thinks i am....i mean i do talk a lot but its not liek i care or anything...actually science is one of my fav subjects, it jus so happens it had ot be put wiht the teach i dont get along wiht the most, hmmm..oh well i guess right???? gotta suck it up and show him im not what he thinx i am--which is a stupid spanish girl....i can see it in his eyes and the way he talks to me, acting like im stupid...but ill show him...hahahaha...so yea this sucks...3rd term is jus around the corner meaning sachool is about to end meaning i have to try harder bc these grades really determine my classes next year....*sigh*...and thne softball try outs is next week---literally, well at leastr i get to occupy my time with something and not feel lazy, plus i really like it, i jus hate the beginning bc its sooooo cold...anyway, life is boring school sux, nothing new....peace

4Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

ahhhhhhhhhhhh [07 Mar 2005|07:17pm]
[ mood | body,mind,&sould overworked!! ]

Revision week.....then FINALS!! *pulls hair out*.......*sighs*, damn im sooo stressed it is unbelievable...i have to study for all this junk and on top of that the paper for english composition i have no idea what im doing it on....grrr...but its not as bad i guess, im just really worried about history and some parts of english really....i need to bring up my grades BADLY but for history bc we dont have a teacher so i dunno for me its more tough bc i dont feel pressured to do as much work during class, so my lazy ass wont do it until the last minute, and that fag never gave us good notes, so im all on my own...oh well....anywayzzzz....yea im sad bc my cousin is going to puerto rico in the month of april for vacation and she invited us, but we cant go bc we dont have enough money for me my mom and my lil sis...that sux bc it would hvae been madd dope going again...but yea ariel told me she was gonna take us somewehere for a day, hope it happens bc i dont wanna be stuck home again....NOW im doin history hopefullyfinishing for the last time, so peace

7Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

haha!! "i need love" [28 Feb 2005|01:59pm]
[ mood | hmmmm ]

PASSIONATE LOVER. You love to love, always looking
for a relationship. You cannot live without it.
Your lover must be passionate and you want
that you and your partner melt into each other.
He/She should not try to take the domination .
You dont want a relationship without passion,
and the sexuality plays a big part. The first
moment you meet him/her is one of the most
important. There has to be something between
you , you cannot explain. From the first moment
on everything must fix. But when this passion
disappears you disappear to. For you it is
better to leave than to see your love
restrained. PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always
message me or tell me how I can improve that
quiz. Ill sure write back.

~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

1Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

[25 Feb 2005|04:07pm]
[ mood | yeaa... ]

Damn....the vacation is almost over...noooooo it felt liek it was jsut getting started....*sigh*...so yea yesterday i went to the movies with jaharra, that was fun...we went to see..uhhhh. american baby, i dunno something liek that with a girl wanting to be a boxer...it was a really good movie though, but it ended all sad, i hate movies like that bc it gives u hope for the person and then something fucks it up liek always......hmmm.....so now here i am alone and bored as hell....im gonna go listen to music.................

1Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

katies birthday!! [20 Feb 2005|07:38pm]
[ mood | haha ]

Oh yes, the young and always wonderful miss katie burns turned 15 today!! wow....it feels sos weird because everyone is turning 15 this year and only a couple of my friends and i are turning 16, i feel so old.....*breaks hip*....lol..so yea anyway, i went over katies house around 11:30 am so her mom can bring me and meghan to the party thingy....and it turned out that the party was gonna start at 12:15 and katies mom told everyone noon, so we arrived like 20 minutes early....it was a really nice pizza place thingy but then outside it was like what the fuck bc it was right before u got to downtown and it was really crappy and dirty, like the avergae day in springfield....the first thing u see/read when u look out the window of this nice restaurant is this billboard that says something about guns and violence and how to prevent it or w/e...lol...so yea we were there for 2 1/2 hours and her family came and she got money..blah blah blah.....when we got to her house bc all of oiur friends are sleeping over we took a walk around me and kts neighborhood and it was FREEZING...my nipples could have cut a hole through my shirt, lol....but yea we walked went to mcdonalds to warm up...gah, there were these weird girls on the street next to mine and we were walking pass this house and they started to yell out like "what the hell are u looking at?"....they just wanted some attention bc we are all oooo so fucking hottt, and plus they were just mad that they couldnt get outside the house so yea i yelled back at em..*sigh*....we got beeped at a couple times which was a little weird bc they yellled out the car and me and ariel yelled back, that was fun, lol...NOW...we just finished watching napolean dynamite--that movie has absolutely no purpose ever but it is hilarious!! "TINA YOU FAT LARD, COME AND EAT SOME DINNER!!!!"...and now they are watching "saved" (they meaning ariel kt dan meg and kareem)....OMG vacation!! finallyyyyyy..one week of vacation and my mom WONT be home this time....my house ALL TO MYSELF...*jumps in excitment* but one week really isnt that long if u think of it......hmmm, i need a job really bad bc im sick of having no money and if i get a job then it will be all my money to buy things with it and thne i wont feel bad about wasting my moms money ya kno?....im hoping ot get a job at 6 flags bc they have really good benefits there but they were saying u had to be 16 or older to work there,..BULLSHIT...i kno ppl that worked there last yr and they were 14 yrs old....but yea im tryin to get one....but i am NOT working at mcdonalds....no way in hell, i will not bring myself to that level...lol......AnYwAy...softbal sign ups was thursday and try outs start march 21st and last 3 days....im soo nervous bc i dont wanna do bad even thoiugh ppl told me im not gonnnaa...*sigh*...i have to practice...im gonna try to go to the batting cages and practice with kara on throwing bc i kno she wants to do that too...im trying to get agelice into softball but i doubt if she does...but she told me that she is gonna do cross country with me, at least its sommething...and i dunno about anyone else whos gonna do it bc i doubt ariel will bc, i dunno, and kt...uhh....haha...n/o...and meg..she didnt sign up....so yea........peace out.........*****PuRpLe HaZe......:)

uh oh** special K, chocolate thunder, borange, jump n crunch

6Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

SHOPLIFTING M&Ms [23 Jan 2005|01:39pm]

Your M&Ms! Your random, fun, and spontaneous. Everyone loves you one way or another- peanut, plain, crunchy, peanutbutter. You are a positive person and don't worry about your losses much.

Thanks for taking my quiz! Please take a moment to take my new Quiz! How Excitable Are You?

What Kind of Candy Are You?- With Images!

You are shoplifting!

What illegal action am I?

Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

[23 Jan 2005|12:29pm]
La La

You are a cute one. You like to give hugs and love other people. Just dont be a slut

Which Teletubby are you>?

1Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

[23 Jan 2005|12:25pm]
You Are Esmerelda!

Mysterious and passionate. You are a survivor. Even though life has swung you some difficult situations you have a strong intuition that gets you through. Also, you have the capacity to sympathize and relate to people.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

[23 Jan 2005|12:18pm]

You are a fighter.

What Type Of Bitch Are You?

2Could you be there...//Cuz I'm the one who waits for you

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